It IS the end of the world as we know it

For various reasons 2012 promises to be an interesting year, maybe more tumultuous that 2011 because even though we may not see the end of the financial market we may just witness the end of the world. And this has nothing to do with the doomsday propheteering (profiteering? Prophet-erring?) of the 'rapture-is-upon-us' rantings of Harold Campings.

While this is old news by now, but for the benefit of my not so updated readers, according to the Inca calendar the world will end on December 23, 2012 (and if you are one of the aforementioned readers a) clearly you have been hiding underneath a rock, and, but more importantly, b) remember you read it here first!)


Now that we have gotten that out of the way, from what I understand this revelation and eerily precise doomsday date was arrived at not by deciphering some ancient text after years of study or through the discovery of some sacred artefact. No. December 23 2012 has been declared the date for the end of the world by something as mundane as a fact that the Incan calendar runs out on that day!

Now if you are among the people who believe all that they read than (taking into consideration how fast times goes these days) the end is nigh!

But don't sell the house and the dog just yet, stop to think what would be the point. Unless you feel from a religious point of view that leaving this world without any material possession means a 'green' channel exit at the final destination and a golden pass to heaven, that inflated bank account will not fare well when the end comes either.

You see what I bring all this up is to perhaps prove that you can't believe all that you read.

For example one of the stories on my newspaper this morning is that “Women are better at getting in and out of a tight spot.” Based on the headline alone, however, I would tend to only part agree – while men are clearly better at getting INTO a tight spot, universally they fail miserably at working their way OUT. Women are hands down better at getting out.

To push a point, it must be said that women are only not better at getting into a tight spot simply because we men are are not 'judgemental'. All men know that we are wired such that the red 'judgemental' button in our head is right next to the red 'panic' button – and we have no intention of even accidentally pushing the 'panic' button (which to put a fair point is also labeled with a 'FATAL FOR MANHOOD IF PRESSED' warning); so we stay away from that general area.

For women, things are a bit more efficient: there is only ONE button and it is a green button labelled 'judgemental/panic/put-man-on-back-foot' – well that is what the label WOULD read if it hadn't been worn off. They even have a embossed steel plate above the button that reads: FATAL FOR MANHOOD IF PRESSED.

(You see, in my experience, that green button for women is for them what our genitalia is for us men – something to play with when bored to often times pleasing affect.)

But I digress.

You see the story is not about relationships, as it is about parking. Yes. Parking. My question is, in what universe is women better at parking than men!? Sure, I will grant that my question reeks of chauvinism, so I should rephrase it (rather than get myself INTO a tight spot, which I will have fair difficulty getting OUT off): In what universe ARE women better at parking than men?

According to the story, British car parks operator NCP analysed the parking of 450 drivers using CCTV footage and surveyed another 2000 more. They analysed for technique, accuracy and time taken to complete the manoeuvre to create what they termed a 'parking coefficient'.

Out of a total of 20, women received an average mark of 13.4 compared to 12.3 for men.

Women were rated higher because using appropriate speed, and better 'pre-parking pose'. Furthermore it was observed that a higher percentage of female drivers finished centrally in their chosen parking spot – 53 percent compared to 25 percent for men.

If there is any truth in that report. Women have discovered that seemingly benign steel plate is a button in itself! And, whats more, they have begun to press it!

Maybe the end is nigh! (At least the Incan's got the year right.)