Critical appraisement and CRITICAL appraisement

Most of us have probably admonished by someone or the other (usually mom) for being unnecessarily critical of someone we may know (or even met in passing).

Yes, even when we are convinced that they deserve it for some slight that we have had to suffer... NO... especially for some slight that we have had to suffer.

“Don't say anything, if you have nothing good to say!” Or something along those lines was the preferred mantra that we were asked to follow.

In most circumstances that is good advice. It's better for the Zen of all concerned; after all not everyone deserves our critical appraisement or an opportunity to bask in our holier-than-thou opinion or ourselves.

[Unless of course the 'us' in this equation happens to be a woman and the 'them' happens to be a man – there are probably different rules for that situation. But as your blogger is (un)fortunately a man, I am not familiar with the underlining rules in such circumstances.]


As a spouse-trained and happily married man (I am told), I am led to believe that ALL men are conditioned to always be open to critical appraisement by their better halves... because the women folk are actually taking the time to do so for our betterment, of course.

Besides what better way than to pass an entire evening (without a drink in hand, I might add) after a stressful days work than to bask in the warm glow of their 'holier-than-us' self-opinion.

Frankly, if I was allowed to think, I am told that I would think the same myself and conclude, without any persuasion whatsoever, that indeed there was no better way to wile away an entire evening (without a drink in hand, I might add) than critical appraisement... and that too, in front of the TV and no remote.

Actually my married life is not all that bad or scary. It's not bad. Period. In fact, my wife tells me that we are actually a great, fun couple and that her many virtues more than adequately overshadows my many, many vices. How can anyone argue with that?

But I digress.

If we think that we men get the brunt of critical appraisement, a news clipping I discovered recently proves that the Human Resources people in the Australian Federal Government have taken critical appraisement and converted it into an art form. Clearly not ones to mince words these people evaluate employee performance with deadly aim and a devious smile.

Following are some extracts from their evaluations:

• Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom ad has started digging.
• I would not allow this employee to breed.
• This employee is really not so much a has-been, but more of a definite won't-be.
• Works well under supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
• He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
• This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
• He sets low personal standards and then constantly fails to achieve them.
• This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
• The employee should go far; and the sooner he starts, the better.
• A gross ignoramus, 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
• When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
• A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
• If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
• Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
• The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

Ouch.