Friday, 15 July 2011

Limericks galore...

I have always enjoyed limericks, often times the cruder the better. What I like particularly about limericks is that in most cases there is rhyme but not necessarily reason.

It's sort of like a strobe light. Is there light or isn't there? Both counts are correct.

Scroll down to read a few of my personal bests (read favourites... like all good writings, I wish I had written it myself!)

Sadly typing it down doesn't count :(

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First a fair warning:

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
In space that is quite economical,
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

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There once was a sculptor named Phideous
Whose sculptures by most were thought hideous
He carved Aphrodite
Without even a nightie
Which shocked all the fussy fastidious

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There was a young girl from Rabat,
who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding,
When she found she had no tit for Tat.

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An exceedingly fat friend of mine,
When asked at what hour he'd dine,
Replied, "At eleven,
At three, five, and seven,
And eight and a quarter past nine.

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A macho young swimmer named Dwyer,
Really liked playing with fire.
One night in the dark
He swam with a shark,
And his voice is now two octaves higher.

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A young schizophrenic named Struther,
Who learned of the death of his Brother,
Said, "I know that its bad,
But I don't feel too sad.
After all, I still have each other."

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... and finally:

God's plan made a hopeful beginning,
But Man spoilt his chances by sinning;
We trust that the story
Will end in great glory,
But at present the other side's winning.

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Care to contribute with your favourites (or your personal bests)?

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