Act of God or Smarts?

Hot on the heels of divine intervention and human stupidity there is another story of a California (naturally) man who attempted to fix a hernia in his stomach trying to cut it off with a six-inch butter knife.

Police were called in to intervene only to find the man naked and sprawled out on a lawn chair, with a butter knife protruding from his abdomen.

The man's wife, who had called the police, told them her husband was “sick and tired of waiting to get surgery for his rupture” and had thus decided to take matters into his own hands.

The 63-year-old California man has since been admitted into the Los Angeles County USC Medical Centre's psychiatric ward and is now recovering.

The police officer who had responded to the call was quoted in the local paper that "whether they have insurance or not is not a matter anymore, seeing that he is in the care of the county. Because of that, he will get the removal or repair of the hernia at taxpayers' expense."

One wonders whether the Lord works in mysterious ways or that the man was actually really not that stupid. Any guesses?

Jokes aside, obviously the man in question had to be pretty desperate to do what he did, and one cannot truly judge him without firsthand knowledge of the excruciating pain and/or extreme discomfort that he might have suffered before attempting the surgery himself.

He was of course a cautious man, since he opted to use a butter knife rather than anything sharper or more unwieldy, lest he lose his grip and the knife plummet further downward and damage (or seriously wound) a better cherished appendage.

When coincidental coincidences coincide...

Do you believe in coincidences? There seems plenty of it in my news radar this morning.

Yesterday in my post I put up a news snippet about a Illinois man who was pulled over by the police officer, who was behind him in line at a McDonald's drive-thru. The officer had smelt marijuana and noticed the smoke coming out from the car in front of him; the man was casually smoked a joint while waiting for his food.

What I did not report was that the man from Elgin Illinois.

Now it appears that Elgin has its share of kooks. Paul Guiterrez, of Elgin, Illinois, has declared to give half his annual income for one year (about US$ 10,000 to US$ 20,000) for anyone who can find him a wife.

Guiterrez has even suggested that if that was not enough he would donate to the charity of the person's choice, or “walk across the country in a wedding dress to raise money for a charitable cause.”

The story is that the man has not had much luck with dating, and confesses that the only time he thought that he was in a relationship was “that is until her boyfriend showed up.”

In his list he points out that he is an unmitigated optimist, kind-hearted and loves animals, he doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs. Also that me may have been convicted for s few misdemeanours he has never conducted a felony.

In Guiterrez's blog (www.handsomepaul.blogspot.com) he lists 38 reasons why single women should love him... but don't. The list is filled with sometimes brutally honest self-assessments and confessions – all packed with a healthy dose of self-deprication and humour.

A self-proclaimed 'ugly' man, Guiterrez in reason #34 states that he is not picky and that the good news was “all women between the ages of 18 and 49 years old, regardless of their physical appearance or past transgressions, are eligible to become my wife.”

The Bad News? He admits that he “may have set (his) standards to high.”

The list evokes his reminiscences of his compassion for other people and the extent he went through to spare people of the olfactory stimuli when he was “suddenly overcome with an unbearable, geyser-like pressure stirring within,” while at a fast food restaurant. He warns people to continue to read at their own peril. A very candid description of events follow.

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Now how's this for coincidence. In a completely unrelated story a 53 year old Texan man died while raping a 77-year old woman. Where is the coincidence? Well the Texan's name was Isabel Chavelo, wait for it, Guiterrez!

Another Guiterrez (no relation to the first, I am guessing) makes the news for a desperate act at companionship in the same week!

The story goes that the man broke into the woman's rural home and attacked her. In the midst of his defilement of the elderly woman, he complained that he wasn't feeling too well and stopped because he needed to rest.

According to the news report “Guiterrez, a registered sex offender, continued to fondle her, then rolled over and died.” The woman, thinking he passed out from too much alcohol (he was reeking of it) quickly ran out to her daughter's home and called the police.

Police believe that Guiterrez had a heart attack after riding his bicycle 3.2 km to the woman's house on a hot day

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I don't usually believe in coincidences, but I think I could be convinced otherwise now.