Sunday 15 May 2011

Waiting for patience is hard to do

Patience is a virtue they say, especially in an age when the virtue is becoming more and more a rarity. Most people would be more than happy to demonstrate some patience if they just did not have to wait.

In an world with instant coffee, instant milk, instant entertainment (in the form of television), etc we have become accustomed to instant light (and by the same measure, perhaps even expect instant enlightenment) at a flick of a switch.

Anything worth having must first be earned. This is no epiphany, but a tired truth that is very difficult to swallow at times. Frankly working for something seems like such a bore and an inconsideration when the world is changing so fast.

Yet, sometimes the truth is hard as a brick wall or insurmountable as a mountain – but then, brick walls have been broken through and mountains have been cut down to size. However, the ingredients to overcome these obstacles have always been 'talent' coupled with, wait for it... time.

I once read that the person who opens his mouth before his turn is forever reminded of the value of keeping silent. Ditto for people who want to acquire possessions before its time – get the wife, kids, house, car, big screen TV (even if not necessarily in that order) before its due time and there are suddenly mortgages and loans to pay. Pretty soon you're not living the life you can afford and you're competing with the neighbours against the prime interest rate.

Growing up I never felt is necessary to keep up with the people around me when it came to possessions – I would like to believe that I lived my life according to my own rules of engagement. I figured out early enough that fewer possessions meant lesser hassles and that one should never allow 'possessions' to define oneself.

That simple rule has a lot to say about how I have been able to preserve my sanity.

Whether or not I had a BMX bike for example (the craze during my formative years) did not define my sense of 'cool.'It just wasn't important enough. Besides it came to pass that more people would want to borrow my friend's BMXs to ride than my non-entity of a two-wheeler, so that was a good thing too.

This truth translates well to even things later in life, be it wives, cars or houses - the too pretty ones are never worth the upkeep or the headache. Particularly in these times of instant gratification when so many people don't want to work to earn the rewards but just want to possess it in the false vanity that those possessions will define who they are.

Which in my estimation simply means living for the approval and the admiration of other people, i.e. subjecting my life choices (and the heartaches I endure as a result) to the materialistic fancies of people who don't really matter.

For example, I am certain that none of my friends are my friends because I happen to own a Ferrari. I am doubly certain of this fact because I DON'T own (nor ever owned) a Ferrari, and they are still around. Most certainly my neighbours would admire me more had I a Ferrari in the driveway – but the question then is, why do I need his admiration to validate myself?

Really why does anyone need people they don't know to validate them and make them feel good?

I believe with a passion that all good things come to those who wait – and in my life I have diligently waited (rather impatiently at times, I'm sure) and delightfully discovered that if I maintain to do my part of the work all the things I ever wanted do, in fact, materialise on its own. The key is not just patience but also a good attitude while waiting.

Bottomline - while people probably wouldn't really mind having the patience, it's really the waiting for the rewards that's such a bother.

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