Friday 17 June 2011

Resentment is nurtured

I like to think of myself as a fairly non-judgemental person (and while I use the word “fairly” I don't think I am even that though – I can be pretty judgemental even when I don't want to be).

I feel a true non-judgemental persona is defeated because of resentment deep within. I am a honest person, not honest as in I never lie or anything, but honest because I am fair... to myself.

While that may sound a bit selfish at the start, it really isn't. I have no double standards, I don't cheat when I think no one is looking or pretend to be something I am not. Let the perception die here... I am NOT incorrigible; I have been known to make mistakes on occasion(even though no one would believe I do).

Far from being selfish, in my opinion, being fair to oneself is the first step to being fair to others. I generally don't run a red light or cut in queue, I do that because I think it is fair (to everyone concerned). Problem arises because suddenly I expect that others should also “ generally not run a red light or cut in queue” - but some do and what that does is build resentment (mainly because, sadly, I am not an aggressive person, rather more of an arm-chair retrospection grouch).

In today's dog-eat-dog world, nice guys generally don't finish first... but neither do they finish last (despite the popular notion that they do). In my experience nice guys sleep better at night and never have to watch their back.

But its fair warning that it could at times result in built up resentment for those who don't play by the rules!

The one thing that reminds to try and stop being judgemental is that it is unfair to judge anyone without full understanding the motives behind their actions – while it is true the motive could be pure selfish interest, but it is also true that people sometimes do things they would not normally do when they are at their wits end. Imagine rushing an injured child to the hospital, who stops for a red light then?

I read that good judgement comes from experience and experience from bad judgement.

End game? Judgemental, smudgemental, sometimes such things could make you just mental!

No comments: